“”
“Observe our national politics. Observe politics around the world. Observe politics through the ages. Does it look like God’s handiwork? When it comes to having a role in politics, that would be the Other Fellow.”
“”
“Kosovo certainly taught the world a lesson. Wherever there’s suffering, injustice, and oppression, America will show up six months late and bomb the country next to where it’s happening.”
“”
“Ann Coulter, on the cover of
Treason, has the look of a soon-to-be-ex wife who has just finished shouting.”
“”
“The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.”
P. J. O’Rourke
“”
“Of course, the humans in Haiti have hope. They hope to leave.”
P.J. O’Rourke
“”
“In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.”
P.J. O’Rourke
“”
“Maybe a nation that consumes as much booze and dope as we do and has our kind of divorce statistics should pipe down about ‘character issues.’ Either that or just go ahead and determine the presidency with three-legged races and pie-eating contests. It would make better TV.”
P.J. O’Rourke
“”
“You can’t get good chinese takeout in China and cuban cigars are rationed in Cuba. That’s all you need to know about communism.”
P.J. O’Rourke
“”
“One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it’s remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver’s license.”
P.J. O’Rourke
“”
“If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life ... it’s the magic words ‘I don’t know.’ ”
“”
“The media learned that war, unlike politics, does not depend upon the media to exist.”
“”
“The Middle Eastern states aren’t nations; they’re quarrels with borders.”
P.J. O’Rourke
“”
“Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs.”
P. J. O’Rourke
“”
“Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. It’s not entitlement. An entitlement is what people on welfare get, and how free are they? It’s not an endlessly expanding list of rights -- the ‘right’ to education, the ‘right’ to health care, the ‘right’ to food and housing. That’s not freedom, that’s dependency. Those aren’t rights, those are the rations of slavery -- hay and a barn for human cattle. There’s only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.”
P. J. O’Rourke
“”
“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”
P.J. O’Rourke
“”
“The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.”
P.J. O’Rourke
