“”
“I have a 9 year old son who thinks he is a singing, dancing, hockey playing Jesus. I do nothing to discourage this idea. I have a 12 year old daughter who thinks I am the stupidest person on the face of the earth. I perpetuate this notion by acting like an idiot in front of her friends for my own amusement.”
“”
“Someone had put flavored coffee in the unflavored grinder. This coffee tasted like hazelnut. And I’d contamined my entire supply. I had nothing but hazelfargin-nut flavored coffee. Why? What was it about the big sign UNFLAVORED COFFEE ONLY that didn’t connect with whatever dullard did this? Why, for that matter, is there flavored coffee? COFFEE IS FLAVOR. No one expects to see coffee-flavored hazelnut, after all. You want flavored coffee, go get your General Mills International Blend powder and sit on the sofa with your girlfriend and giggle over Jean Luc, the Parisian waiter like the bloody commercials. Bastards!”
“”
“Ted needs someone to be there 100% of the time. He thinks that’s love. It’s not love - it’s babysitting.”
Jane Fonda, on Ted Turner
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“Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.”
Steve Bluestone
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“If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?”
Linda Ellerbee
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“Life is like playing the violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.”
Samuel Butler
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“What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.”
Crowfoot, 1890, Blackfoot warrior and orator
